Wednesday, 10 September 2014

Revelation some might call it.

I've always been a believer in hope.

Faith and love have always been my armour, never thought I needed to raise. Little did I know hope is the very thing that always let me accept a lot of lessons in life, some may say mistakes, lessons in life I see them as.
I always believed that people do fall, they will fall many a times in life. It was never the falling that was the issue for me however but always making sure you jumped right back up.
That mentality was forever my focus.
Always get up, always get up at any cost.
Never allow yourself to wallow in self pity. I'm not good with sympathy, never accepted sympathy for myself and rarely for another soul.
Accepting sympathy for something that one had the control to get out of meant defeat. It meant that one accepted being a victim.

What was the point of that?

It wouldn't erase the pain that the problem caused nor would it undo what was done.
Empathy on the other hand? Empathy is a concept I was all for. I could understand.

Never asking why something happened to me but always placing the focus on the next step.
" it's happened, now what?"
Believing in hope is what has somewhat contributed to me placing so much emphasis on empathy and disregarding sympathy almost altogether.
With time im finding myself embarking on a journey that's teaching me a lot about myself. One thing I've come to realise is that hope is a bandage.
It isn't necessarily the cure for the illness, doesn't heal the wound nor prevents it from happening again.

This journey has brought me back to meditating, contemplating on life.

New chapter.
Reading a lot more, withdrawing back into myself. In the midst of all this I've come to remember different events, many souls I come across. So many amazing souls, so bright yet so damaged. Each and every day going though the motions. Recalling the conversations with all these lovely souls, reminiscing on the events of their lives has made me understand that hope is:

That young girl hoping her first love will grow up to be a man and treat her accordingly. One day hel wake up and realise he loves her and everything will be as the fairy tales because that is all there is right?

Hope is that young man settling for the girl he once loved. Growing to detest her every day that goes by, all this because he never stayed true to himself and at the end of the day true to her too. He's a good guy so what more is there to do?

Hope is sticking out with that job that takes up all your time and energy. The job that is slowly destroying your soul. Everyday like a zombie walking and doing what needs to be done for what you believe is life, that promotion will come. How else do you pay the bills?

Hope is the single mother from three different fathers. It's her thought that the next one will be different, shel be loved and live a fulfilled life, walking through the flame repeatedly. Fairy tales don't exist so how else can one get a happy family?

Hope is that voice that whispers, that whispers tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be a better day.

Tomorrow has no regard for yesterday.

Yesterday can't come back, it goes against every fibre of its existence.

Little did I know of the most powerful entity that is today, today is the perfect harmony between the two.

Life can be without the notion of hope, life can go on without hope.
Get today right, what will be the need for hope?
Not disregarding it altogether, but I've come to remember the beauty in sitting in peace.
My soul is crying out to me, my heart has been whispering to me all this time. I just didn't understand the language in which it was speaking to me in. Now I'm taking heed, I'm going back to the drawing board. Sitting in peace, hearing my heart, meditating, accepting what was, what is and what will be.

Just Be.
Be in the here and now.
Be in the present moment.
Just Be.

Flow with the ocean. Call out to the moon. Be grounded by Mother Earth.
By remembering to hear the call for the here and now, the anxiety and unnecessary lessons I would have, will gradually seize to exist.
Knowing to choose to pack accordingly, the excess weight that will cost me the extra burden will not be needed.
Learning to fall in love with today, respecting all the blessings I am making peace with yesterday's burden and tomorrow's anxiety.

Once you get to this, there won't be a need for hope. There is action.
Let the only by products be Love and Faith.
You won't be in a place where you are carrying a steel rod as a souvenir from the belly of the beast slowly seeping through you burning holes in your soul.

I am here to live, love, learn and BE.

What about you?

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